"Late Night" Commentary
"War continues in Iraq. They're calling it Operation Iraqi Freedom. They
were going to call it Operation
Iraqi Liberation until they realized that spells 'OIL.'" .Jay Leno
"Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the
willing. Or, as the rest of the
world calls them, Britain and Spain." .Jon Stewart
"According to the New York Times, Saddam Hussein has mined all his oil
fields, planted bombs in all his
major cities, he's got bombs in the military installations, in the
airports, and he's mined all the
government buildings. There's not much left for us to do, really." .Jay
Leno
"Good news for Iraq. There's a 50 percent chance that President Bush will
confuse it with Iran." .Craig
Kilborn
"President Bush spent last night calling world leaders to support the war
with Iraq and it is sad when the
most powerful man on earth is yelling, 'I know you're there, pick up, pick
up." .Craig Kilborn
"President Bush spent the day calling names he couldn't pronounce in
countries he never knew existed." .Jay Leno
"President Bush found out something this week. Between the countries of
Camaroone, Chile, Angola and Syria,
Angola plays the best music when they put you on hold." .Craig Kilborn
"As you all know we're about to start March Madness. That's NCAA college
basketball tournament when they
start with 64 teams and you whittle them down to just one, you know kind of
like our allies." .Jay Leno
"CNN said that after the war, there is a plan to divide Iraq into three
parts ... regular, premium and
unleaded." .Jay Leno
"Turkey has voted not to allow U.S. troops into their country and Saddam
Hussein said 'You can do that?'"
.Jay Leno
A lot of students around the country protested the war today. The National
Youth and Student Peace Coalition
sponsored an anti-war organization called 'Books Not Bombs.' President Bush
said, 'Why do you want to drop
books on them?'" .Jay Leno
"My wife wanted to go somewhere expensive for the weekend. So, I took her
down the street to the local
Texaco." .Jay Leno
"Experts say that if we go to war with Iraq, oil could reach as much as $80
a barrel. Of course, after the
war it will be free." .Jay Leno
"Saddam Hussein also challenged President Bush to a debate. The Butcher of
Baghdad vs. the Butcher of the
English language." .Jay Leno
"President Bush announced tonight that he believes in democracy and that
democracy can exist in Iraq. They
can have a strong economy, they can have a good health care plan, and they
can have a free and fair voting.
Iraq? We can't even get this in Florida." .Jay Leno
"In an interview with Dan Rather, Saddam has challenged President Bush to a
live, televised debate.
I think this would be fair, since English is a second language to both of
them." .Jay Leno
"President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage
war, and I'm thinking,
well, hell, he didn't need the approval of the American voters to become
president, either." .David
Letterman
"In a speech earlier today President Bush said if Iraq gets rid of Saddam
Hussein, he will help the Iraqi
people with food, medicine, supplies, housing, education . anything that's
needed. Isn't that amazing? He finally comes up with a domestic agenda .
and it's for Iraq. Maybe we could bring that here if it works out." .Jay
Leno
"Secretary of State Colin Powell addressed the United Nations Security
Council, offering a compelling 90-minute presentation that not only
furthered his case but reminded the world why America is second to none in
the field of PowerPoint." .Jay Leno
"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he
hates America, he loves mistresses
and wears a beret. He is French, people." .Conan O'Brien
"The state of Texas executed its third prison inmate this week. This week.
In fact, they don't even have a
last meal anymore, now it's a buffet." .Jay Leno
"I read today that the president was interrupted 73 times by applause and
75 times by really big words."
.Jay Leno
"This week officials from France, Russia and Germany accused President Bush
of having a fondness for war.
Yeah, when asked about it, a spokesman for Bush said, 'It's a one syllable
word, of course he's fond of
it.'" .Conan O'Brien
Claudia D. Dikinis
http://starcats.com/
Political & Personal Astrology for a New Millennium
Don't Miss This! You'll Get Sane Again!
http://www.bushwatch.com/weiner.htm
"Depression -- And Its Activism Antidote -- will lead to Bush's Demise"
It is exhausting carrying America's coffin. We are all pallbearers now. --
Claudia D. Dikinis, March 22, 2003.
"If humankind would accept and acknowledge this responsibility and become
creatively engaged in the process of evolution, consciously as well as
unconsciously, a new reality would emerge, and a new age could be born." --
Jonas Salk
